Do you feel pressure on Valentine’s Day to be in a relationship? Feel bad if you’re not? Read on and find out why you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel good about yourself. Celebrate being single instead!
It can feel like there’s a huge pressure to be in a relationship and find ‘the one’ at Valentine’s. This thought could cause some people to rush into a relationship or stay with someone they know isn’t right for them so they’re not alone. But there’s a big difference between being lonely and being alone.
Being alone is a physical state of being by yourself. Being lonely is an emotional state where you feel disconnected from others. This can happen when you are alone or with other people.
You are enough
In conversations about love and relationships, often there’s a belief that having a partner ‘completes you’. Your ‘other half’. This idea suggests that being single means you’re incomplete or half of something and that finding ‘the one’ makes you complete.
This isn’t a healthy way to think. It suggests that single people are just waiting for the next relationship to be a whole and that being in a relationship is what everybody should aim for. But you should be able to feel whole on your own. You shouldn’t need a partner for that. By feeling whole on your own, your relationship is healthier, as you don’t need that person to make you feel good about yourself. You are with that person because you want them rather than because you need them.
Learn to enjoy time by yourself
When you’re young, you’re less likely to have the extra pressures and responsibilities of adult life, like rent, big bills or children. Try to enjoy this time when you’re mostly in charge of your schedule and what you want to do. Take yourself on dates, watch that film you’re excited about, or go on a day trip somewhere new. You don’t have to wait for another person to do the things you want to do.
When you’re single, you should learn how to be happy alone. Realise that you don’t need to rely on someone else to be happy. You don’t need to be in a relationship to make yourself feel good.
Even if you’re in a relationship, it’s important to spend quality time with yourself and not lose sight of who you are in another person.
So why not be your own on St Dwynwen and Valentine this year? Buy yourself some roses or a big box of chocolates. Spend the day or the evening doing something you enjoy, on your own or with friends. You are enough!
This blog was shared by Meic, the information, advice and advocacy helpline for children and young people across Wales. Contact Meic if you need to talk to someone about anything that’s worrying or upsetting you. It’s free, confidential and anonymous. The service is open from 8am-midnight every day, and you can contact them by phone, text, or online chat.